That One Bitchy Table

Many servers have come across that one table who just wants to bitch about everything. It's just the guest's personality. There's nothing we can really do about it but let it happen. Last night I had the lady from Waiting, the one who just picks on her waitress for fun and complains about everything while her friends sit there looking embarassed.

I greet the table of three middle-aged ladies, and tell them about our 2-for-1 margarita special. "Bitchy Lady" immediately told the other two ladies, "Oh we have to do that!" I'm thinking this will be a fun table. I was quite wrong.

Bitchy Lady and one of her friends order the 2-for-1 margaritas. Bitchy Lady asks for hers on the rocks, while her friend asks for frozen. The friend asks for salt, Bitchy Lady just nods her head and keeps talking. Off I go to fetch margaritas.

I bring the four margaritas to the table, (hence 2-for-1), and Bitchy Lady says they wanted to split the special between the two of them. I apologize. The friend says it's not a problem at all they will drink them. They didn't make a big deal of it. Bitchy Lady tastes hers and says "Uggghh! This tastes like a pina colada. That isn't a margarita. And that one has salt n it. I won't drink that." They both had salt on them, but it didn't stop her from drinking out of the first one.

Me: "I'm sorry, I misheard you. I thought you both wanted salt. I'll go get two new margaritas for you."

I bring her two new margaritas, and make sure they taste like freaking margaritas. Now it's time to order food. Between the three ladies they ordered two side salads and two thin crust pizzas. This is where it really gets fun.

Bitchy Lady made sure to tell me to bring an extra plate with their salads since they would be sharing. Then, one of the thin crust pizzas she ordered automatically comes on a five-grain crust. She said to make it traditional because she's allergic to sesame or something. The first thing I did was bring three plates to the table. I pointed it out when I brought them, "Here are extra plates for you." Bitchy Lady was on the phone and must have not seen. I brought the two salads out and again said, "Here are those extra plates." Bitchy Lady was still on the phone. Apparently, the radiowaves went to her head because she did not see the bright yellow plates in front of her and tracked down another server to get her a plate, because "Michelle forgot."

Next, their pizza, which I typed in "make traditional crust," came out on a five-grain crust. They hollered at me and I told them I'd get my manager to clarify if it was a five-grain crust.

I can understand why Bitchy Lady would be upset about that. She doesn't want to puff out and swell up and all that crap, but this was not my doing. This was her opening, however, to bitch and bitch and bitch.

She told my manager, "Michelle has got nothing right on our table. She brought us four margaritas, she brought us the wrong margaritas, I asked her for an extra plate and she never got me one," (PLEASE!!!!). "And now she got our pizza wrong." My manager explained to Bitchy Lady that the pizza was not my fault, the kitchen messed up and it was out of my hands. Bitchy Lady insisted back to her that it was my fault because I got everything else wrong. (Not to mention that a margarita tasting like a pina colada was not my fault either, or anybody's.)

Luckily, my manager realized that this was Bitchy Lady and that I was not being a bad server. She said to just finish them out and try to be nice. This is when I really wish I was allowed to speak my mind, because I think I would have actually stood up for myself. But, the damn guest is always right. So I did the mature thing- gave them the stink eye, refilled everyone's water except for Bitchy Lady, and gave them the check. The $2 tip in quarters was the cherry on top of a fantastic bitchy table.